Ashley's
anencephalic Story

Then the devil decided to shake things up again.  Pam received word that the doctor we have been seeing was leaving the practice at Watervliet.  We still don’t know the reasons why, but it seemed awful sudden and not really very planned at all.  He hadn’t said anything to us about even the possibility of leaving.  I believe Pam found out in the office, after she had her last appointment with him.  She broke down in tears because he was leaving. Now what were we going to do.  Satan had once again put us in a circumstance that the Lord would have to take care of.

There was a doctor that was taking over for our doctor, but how do you transfer a circumstances like this.  Not everyone handles it the same way. When she went to her first appointment with the new doctor, I don’t believe that she was very impressed.  He treated her with very fragilely or like a basket case that would crack at any moment.  She would come home crying after each appointment.

Then there was the appointment that Pam still remembers to this day.  She was in the exam room ready to be checked.  A nurse came in and was getting ready to do an exam on her.  The first question that she asked was whether Pam was going to breast feed the baby or if she was going to bottle feed her.  Pam just sat there in shock!  After stumbling around for a little while with thoughts and words, she told the nurse that the baby was anencephalic and that she didn’t think that the decision needed to be made.  “Oh!”, she said. I think the nurse was quite shocked.  Obviously, she had not looked at the chart at all.  Pam was a basket case for the rest of the appointment. 

What this whole episode with the doctor has taught us is that people want to be treated as people.  They don’t want to be treated with kid gloves.  They just want to feel human and be treated as another intelligent human being. However, they also like you to be sensitive to their situation.  Think about how you would feel in their situation.  If you were in their situation, what comments would you like to hear, instead of what comments you think might comfort them.
Also, remember that you have no idea what people are going through.  You cannot see it on their face. Think about that nurse. Before she walked in the room she had no idea of what Pam had been through. She spoke without thinking or at least being informed.  Treat others as you would want to be treated.  Keep in mind what they might be going through when you might feel anger or frustration towards them.

Finally, Pam could take it no longer.  She decided to ask if she could transfer up to the doctor in Kalamazoo that had given us the news.  She also thought that this might be a better option because Kalamazoo might be more prepared than the doctor was in Watervliet.  I don’t know for sure, but I don’t thing that the doctor had delivered an anencephalic baby or if he had, he didn’t seem to be very comfortable with it.

The doctor in Watervliet checked with Kalamazoo and they said that they would be willing to take us until our little one was born.  Pam was quite relieved and believed that this would work out better.  As you will see later in the story, it appeared that this was God’s plan.