The Cemetery - Chapter 28

When we got to the cemetery, I got out of the car and was ready to carry my daughter to the grave site.  I remember feeling that I didn’t know what to do or how soon to carry her.  Thankfully, I was guided by the funeral director and followed his instructions. Because this was February in Michigan, the cemetery had done a wonderful job of clearing the area of snow around the grave site. They had put down the green carpet with fake grass so that people would not get as much snow on them.  They had shoveled quite a large area for people to stand. I carried her over to the grave site and gently lowered her to the ground.
We stood beside her casket while, our assistant pastor spoke a few words.  Then we greeted everyone again.  There is really only one thing I remember from those hugs and greetings.  One of my best friends walked over to me and said “I will never know how you feel right now and I can’t imagine what you are going through.”  I think that this was one of the best things that he could have been said and I will always remember it. He knew that I was going through a lot, but didn’t try to feel something he didn’t.

That night we visited with family and tried to recover from such a long exhausting weekend.  I don’t believe that I went back to work until Wednesday of that week.

Lessons Learned

  •           If your baby is anencephalic, I would encourage you to have a final resting place for your little one. Pam and I have continued to live near the cemetery where Ashley is buried.  From time to time, we go back to the cemetery and find Ashley’s grave.  We continued to wonder what would have happened if only.
  •           If you are close friends with someone who will have a baby born without a brain, encourage them to have a final resting place, where they can go to remember their little one.
  •           “The living at least know they will die, but the dead know nothing. They have no further reward, nor are they remembered.” Ecclesiastes 9:5